“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” ― Seneca
Being a coward is no way to live life. Sadly, in my former life, I have experience.
Gulp. I took a deep breath as I stepped inside of this gym in 2005. I wasn’t sure of what to expect. I got pretty serious about my training a few years earlier when I did wrestling in high school. Then I lost all of my gains because I became careless with my lifestyle (see: drinking too much).
I finally decided to join a new gym that was open 24.7. I entered the gym triumphantly on that summer day. I took my mom’s car and was ready to train like a “beast.” I was ready to take over. I was ready to become HUGE, brah!
I walked around for a bit, performed a few exercises on the machines, and left. I then returned a few days later. I couldn’t find a good parking spot so I just drove away that day. For the next few months, I didn’t really workout much. I maybe got a few workouts in here and there. Obviously I didn’t see any gains.
Pretty pathetic, eh?
I was too intimidated to even enter the gym. When I did enter, I barely did anything of any significance because I was too afraid to ask for help or feedback or a freaking spot.
It’s time for my story of how I become a conqueror, how I got there, and the steps involved in ditching the coward-life…
I was a coward.
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” — Aristotle
I was always afraid to open my mouth or to try something new. I worried about what others would say about me. I was just boring. I was lame.
I was also a coward in the following areas:
- Too intimidated to try a new class at the gym.
- Afraid of changing anything from my routine.
- Was scared to death of being noticed.
- Didn’t want to meet new people because I thought they wouldn’t like me.
- Was nervous about opening my mouth.
- I was waiting for my turn to get picked.
- I wasn’t aggressive in pursuing my goals.
Being a coward sucks. It’s no way to live life.
I just never had a mentor or someone to help me out. I had to learn everything on my own. I had to fail on my own. I just never had the courage to fail. I thought I needed permission.
[Read up on how to stop being a little bitch. You owe it to yourself.]
Fast forward a few years…
Now I’m a conqueror.
All modesty aside, I’m not afraid of much these days. I grab life by the balls and take whatever I want. I’m aggressive in all areas of my life. Hell, I’m not afraid of promoting myself on my own blog. A few years ago, I was too intimidated to even start a fitness blog.
I embrace failure. I take on all challenges. I’m 100% relentless in going after what I want.
In the last six months I’ve done the following:
- Participated in a BJJ tournament and even got disqualified for my ruthless aggression.
- Tried all sorts of new classes at the gym just to step outside of my comfort zone.
- Traveled to Argentina alone.
- Started pro wrestling in front of crowds (friends and family included).
- Dominated my social life. Won’t say anymore.
- Made lots of amazing new friends. This is key because your network is your net worth.
I’m not saying this to brag or to try to impress you. I just want you to see that you don’t have to be born fearless. It can come with time regardless of where you are right now.
[Check out how I tackled the scariest experience of my life by pro wrestling.]
How can you become like Alexander The Great and conquer?
I wanted to show you the formula that I went through.
(Note: I chose Alexander The Great because I don’t know much about well-known heroes and that was the only name that came to mind.)
Phase 1: Understanding that you’re a little bitch.
You’re a little bitch. You’re weak. You’re not where you want to be. That’s cool.
I had to come to understand that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. You have to put your ego aside and accept this humbling truth. You’re not the best at being the best. It took me a while to accept this. It still does take me some time to get adjusted to being at the bottom when trying something new.
The good news is that you can move forward easily to the next phase. I learned that showing up and committing can often be the biggest momentum swing in your favor.
[It’s time to boost your testosterone and become The Incredible Hulk.]
Phase 2: Being mocked and humiliated.
Yes, you will get mocked. Maybe you won’t get mocked by others. You might just have internal negative self-talk. That could be worse than anything others could say to you.
Get ready to be berated. That’s all I’m going to say. If nobody directly puts you down, you will do it to yourself.
This is the stage where most of you will give up. I gave up at this stage many times.
It also must be noted that this stage never technically ends!
You read that correctly. Even the best get criticized. This is the best part. You’re always going to be growing. No time to be stagnant.
If you can handle the heat, then move on to the next stage. If not, you can find a Disney movie to watch for inspiration!
“Your biggest failure is the thing you dreamed of contributing but didn’t find the guts to do.” – Seth Godin
Phase 3: Showing up and putting in the work consistently.
This is where you earn respect. Nobody is going to give you any respect without earning it.
I don’t want to hear any excuses. Just put he work in. I’ve struggled with this because I’m so impatient. I’ve come to realize that time is going to fly by either way, so I might as well be working towards my goals.
[Take a moment to try one of 7 scary things I dare you to do.]
Phase 4: Studying the masters.
You need to find a mentor. You also need to become a mentor. You need to do both ASAP.
Alexander the Great was tutored by Aristotle. Who’s going to tutor you?
It’s important that you find someone pretty damn amazing to study and learn from.
The good news is that successful people are usually willing and excited about helping out. I’ve had friends in blogging, weight lifting, grappling, and pro wrestling, that are remarkable at what they do offer to help me out. And yes, I took their help and ran with it.
I would also urge you to watch those that made it that shouldn’t have. These were the ones that had the odds stacked against them. Yet they still made it. Study them and observe what helped them stand out.
[See what the experts had to say about the best bodyweight workouts.]
Phase 5: Being bold and taking on colossal risks.
Anyone can play it safe. We can all go to the gym for an hour a day and have a leisurely workout. That doesn’t take any effort.
I want you to be bold, aggressive and to take on huge risks.
Alexander solved the Gordian Knot.
This is the stage where you become 100% aggressive about your goals. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Take chances and fail hard.
I subscribe to the following theory on this:
“In my experience, successful people shoot for the stars, put their hearts on the line in every battle…In the long run, painful losses may prove much more valuable than wins…Of course, the real challenge is to stay in range of this long-term perspective when you are under fire and hurting in the middle of the war. This, maybe our biggest hurdle, is at the core of the art of learning.” – Joshua Waitzkin
[Take on a physical challenge.]
This is your wake up call to stop being a coward. The world is your gym. You don’t owe anyone anything. You need to be aggressive about your goals. I want you to conquer.
The theme of Kettlebell Rebels is simple : The world is your gym and we relentlessly pursue adventure.
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” — Eleanor Roosevelt